They say being a parent is the hardest job there is. And, just like with anything, some come to it more naturally than others. I tend to learn things most easily by banging my head against the wall - parenting is no different. I thought I'd share a few things I wish I knew before adopting, and what I've learned since.
(Some of) What I didn't know before adopting:
1.) My child WILL have been affected from trauma. Period.
2.) I will desperately want to know his birth mother.
3.) The Zen-mama thing won't come to me quickly or naturally.
4.) (But there's a Zen-ish mama in there who just needs some practice.)
5.) We will gain some friends and build an amazing community.
6.) We will lose some friends.
7.) I'll never regret not having biological children. Not for a minute.
(Some of) What I've learned since adopting:
1.) I am the emotional regulator. It's up to me to help Sam calm. And I actually can do it.
2.) Attachment goes both ways, it took longer for me than anyone.
3.) Despite what I'd thought, I DID give up my career to be with my son (for a while).
4.) Despite any initial trepidation or concern about how we chose to build our family, our parents, sisters and brothers have fallen totally and unconditionally in love with our son.
5.) Nothing feels worse than going to sleep feeling like a bad parent.
6.) Nothing feels better than going to sleep feeling like a good mama.
7.) Adoptions ethics concern me and are a painful reality.
8.) Kyndra was right - watching learning to walk is cute, but seeing learning to talk is adorable.
9.) Everything is wonder and possibility at age 3. And willfulness. And willfulness. And...
10.) You can't possibly grasp parenting until you are one. And maybe not then.
10.) You can't possibly grasp parenting until you are one. And maybe not then.
11.) I am the mama of the funniest, smartest and cutest boy in the world.
