December 9, 2010

Family.

My parents were here for Thanksgiving - we had a really great week. (Why is it that you don't really appreciate your parents until you're O-L-D?) 

As Terry and I work towards having our own family - I'm struck by the good things we got from my parents that I want to pass on. They instilled us with tremendous independence and allowed us to find our own beliefs while raising us with strong morals and work ethics. My mom taught us love of family and for animals. My dad encouraged us to take risks and love nature.They're still married, and put 3 of us through braces and college.

We talked a lot about my family history. (As a child, my grandfather named himself after a horse he liked. My grandmother single-handedly ran the family farm for months after my grandfather broke his hip). I wish I would have known my grandparents better and am fascinated by hearing stories... I could listen to them for days.

We'll spend Christmas with Terry's family - who bring us an entirely different set of blessings and stories. We're very, very fortunate. As this child will be, once it finally gets here. (700 days today.)

Namaste and blessings.

T.M.I.

Those damn classes. We're going through the Hague Adoptions video courses on international adoption.

Apparently, we can be assured that:

1.) Our child will not develop normally

2.) Our child will have any number of diseases

3.) Our child will not do well in school

4.) Our child will have trouble socially

5.) Our child will have eating issues

6.) Our child will never forgive us for taking him/her out of his/her birth country

7.) Our child will have seven heads and four stomachs 

8.) Our child will not sleep, ever

9.) Our child will never fit in

10.) Our child will never get to us because the country will close. (Oh - wait...)

This is the "scare the crap out of you" tactic. I have to admit. It's working.

Blog identity crisis.

I have been trying to decide what to do with this beloved blog, which started as an adoption blog.

With our first adoption attempt - I wanted to (and pratically did) shout from the rooftops: "we're gonna adopt a baby from Nepal!". So I blogged, we shared with family, we daydreamed, we planned, we envisioned, we began to learn and love the Nepali culture and I blogged.

Now that we have (how do I put it lightly) had our hearts crushed, our wallets cleaned out and our dreams obliterated, I've been unsure how to proceed with the blog.

While we are cautiously moving forward to build our family - we're not giving out specifics. So this isn't an adoption blog right now. Besides, I don't want to blog another word on our lost child. Whoops. I just did. I'm not a homemaker-type, so it's not a crafty-cooking-entertaining-decorating blog. I'm a career-girl, and while I love my work, I'm in IT and it's not super-exciting. Besides, there are some really good IT blogs out there already. I don't live in L.A. I'm sick of politics, I'm not Gywneth Paltrow and I sure don't care about cars.

So it begs the question: Who am I? This blog wants to know.

Dammit

When we started the international adoption process we were told the road would be bumpy. But daaaang was I naive. I guess I just assumed we'd be one of the couples whose adoption happened quickly, easily and flawlessly. Or at least happened at all. That's how it felt - so incredibly right.

Nearly two years - and thousands of dollars later - I just have to say: DAMMIT! It hasn't been quick, easy and certainly anything but flawless. Why did it feel so right?

So as we start the process again, it's totally different. I'm a little more hardened. I'm a lot more scared. I'm not on adoption boards. I'm hesitating to build community around this yet. I'm not letting thoughts of a child creep into my head or my heart (to the best of my ability). I'm not celebrating.

Almost 3 months after Nepal shut down, I'm still in shock. I'm still angry. But mostly, I'm just sad.

Namaste.

It's a very small, big world.

I just got back from a great trip to Germany for work. It reminded me (as if I'd forgotten!) how much I/we love to travel. The next time I go - I have promised myself I will take an extra weekend or so and see a country I haven't yet seen, even if it means staying in a hostile to save money. (Wait a minute, that's crazy talk! I'll just find a quiet, reasonably-priced hotel :). ) I only wish we had offices in Thailand, Vietnam and Kathmandu!

This is likely one of the reasons we feel so passionate about International adoption. We love to see the different ways people live, celebrate, pray, eat, and spend their time. And we love to bring different customs, rituals and cultures into our lives. It's a big world - but a lot smaller than we sometimes think and act.

I was reminded of this quote, which I shamelessly stole from my friend Bridget:
If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home. -James Michener

Mothers. It's just what they do.

I love, love, love this video! (click here) Turn the sound up. Grab a kleenex. And then tell me - isn't it just mamas and daddys taking care of babies, rather than dog/cat/fawn/horse/goat or black/white/brown? Seems like there's plenty of love to go around. What great examples there creatures are.                                     

PS - plenty more where this came from...

Mama cat + baby rabbit.

Daddy dog + baby kittens.

Mama cat + baby squirrels.

Mama cat + baby panda.

Chihauha + baby squirrels.         

Something to think about.