Hmmmmm.

A sign of things to come.

I don't miss things. I'm always on time. I have clean floors. I write thank-you notes immediately.

If this week is any indication of how life will be when BBS arrives, and I assume it is, all of the above has gone to hell in a hand-basket. Already.

• We offered to purchase and have dinner delivered for some friends who just arrived home with their little girl from Ethiopia. I wrote the wrong date on my calendar, leaving them without dinner last night. (I don't miss things like this!)
• I have been late to 2 appointments today and missed a work meeting. (I am always early! I am obsessive about not missing work meetings and responding to emails in an hour!)
• My floors are a gross disaster. I walked through Jackson slobber and fur and thought "screw it" (or something similar). (OMG! Ask my husband about my floor freakishness!)
• My wonderful mother sent me an amazing care-package OVER A MONTH AGO for BBS and I haven't written a thank-you note yet. (I write thank you notes within 24 hours - OR LESS!)

WHO IS THIS PERSON???

Sincerely,

Quickly becoming less of a control freak, whether I like it or not.

Our first trip to Ethiopia - what we know as of 12:55pm on Tuesday:

Here are a few details, although vague:

• We're trying to book tickets today - turns out this is the high season in Ethiopia - of course! So flights are packed but we'll hope for the best. We may stay overnight in Frankfurt.
• We will probably fly over *around* the 12th and meet him the day after we arrive.
• We'll get to see him 3-4 times during this first visit.
• We have our court date July 18th.
• We'll either pass court, or they'll ask for more documentation, this will require more court dates.
• We won't be required for subsequent court hearings in the event they're required - our agency's lawyer will handle.
• We will then fly home - we might see a bit of the country if we can swing it after our court date
• We then wait for the US to process him as a citizen.
• This takes somewhere between 1-3 months after we've passed court
• And they we fly back over -  to bring him home!!

That's all we know right now - obviously much to do in the next 3 weeks! Thank you so much for everyone's thoughts and prayers. 

(The picture is the mural Terry, his mother and I painted in his room this weekend.)

! ! ! !

Our court date is July 18th! 
We made it before rainy season! 
We're going to meet our son!
So, so, so grateful!

Mama Bear

Until I am this:

I am pretty much this:



I am chalking it up to instincts. Don't get between me and my cub. I am mean and very crazy right now.

Excruciating.

I've now talked to two families who got matches with their children more than a month after us. They both already have court dates for June or July.

We're still hoping to get an initial date in July before the courts close down for rainy season in August/September. 

The uncertainty of this, and of our baby potentially spending 2 extra months in an orphanage, is excruciating. I know I should let go, I know I shouldn't worry. I know I need to be patient. But while I know all of that, I am literally sick to my stomach every time I think about timing. I can't breathe. 

There are times when I feel certain we'll travel soon. There are times my my stomach and heart seem to fall through my feet into the floor because we may not.

Please? 

I'm going to go take the pup for a walk/swim at the river, and try to remember all the good. Yes, take my mind off of it.

Three.

This powerful Celtic symbol dates back to 2500 b.c. It's the oldest known Celtic symbol, and is referred to as a triple spiral, Celtic spiral or the Celtic trilogy.

Some say this symbol represents the 3 stages of life: birth, death and eternity; others see it as land, sea and sky. Pagans view it as a symbol of the triple goddess and believe it represents phases of the moon. Sometimes Christians use the symbol to represent the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. I've also seen it referred to as a sign of female power - especially power through transition and growth.

Besides the "three prongs" and the associated meanings above, this mark also implies movement: action, constantly going forward, learning and spiritual growth.

Today, this shape to me means, simply, moving towards our three: Father, Mother and Child.