It's here!

18 days after filing our I-600a, we have recieved our I-171h: "Notice of favorable determination concerning application for advance processing of orphan petition". Yes, I am a little teary.

We're Psyched!

Today we met with a psychologist to get our "psychological assessment" - one of the final remaining documents required for our dossier. (The woman we met with was really great... if you're looking for someone for your assessment - we'd highly recommend her!) We then got our passport photos. It's good to check these things off, having not been super productive on the adoption front in the past few days.

This past weekend we had dinner with our new Nepal-adopting friends Kevin and Jenny, and saw photos and heard stories from when they lived in Nepal. We're more excited than ever to visit this amazing country for the first of what will hopefully be many incredible trips! We also heard today that Ann and Kevin - who we we met at the adoption training a few weeks ago - have officially decided to adopt from Nepal, so happy congratulations to them!

Still no I-171H. Day 13. Namaste for now.

Lots happening - both here and in Nepal

On Sunday we had a potluck for the families locally who are adopting from Nepal. There were nine families - it was a great group of people! There was lots of good conversation and sharing of questions & details! I'm sure we will very much be able to help each other along the way. There are a few families who already have their dossiers in Nepal, and some who are just considering the country - and all of us in between.

We contine to make slow, steady progress. We have an appointment for our psych. eval on Monday. We'll get our passport pictures taken this weekend, and print pictures of the house & yard. Our dossier is getting there! Come on, I-171H!!

In the meantime, Nepal is preparing for the process, which is new to them, as well.

Namaste for now.

More on yesterday...

Part 1:
Anne, as usual, wrote an eloquent and inspiring update last night (see below). Yesterday was powerful for both of us, and I feel the need to add a bit more.

The ‘Core 1’ class was both really interesting and seriously eye-opening. Lots of honest and sincere talk about life after an adopted child joins your life and family. Some of the honesty was honestly hard to hear – the trauma talk (loss, attachment disorder, PTSD) as well as parental wondering if you did the right thing. This was unexpected and a little emotional at times I think for many of us. We all wonder. We all have capacities beyond what we know. We later got into scenarios of how to deal with difficult, surprising situations with kids of various ages, but also the potent value of commitment throughout this lifelong journey.

At the end of the day it was truly all good. Not just eye-opening but really mind-opening good. One of the best parts was meeting and sharing with these remarkable people also adopting… domestic and foster care and international, some searching for older and special needs kids. It is comforting to know there are beautiful and courageous people in this world who care a hell of a lot – both experts and novices. Hopefully we never cease to learn from them.

Part 2:
I want to thank Anne, my amazing wife, for all her efforts on our adoption process. She has worked tirelessly on organizing and pulling together the bulk of our paperwork and coordination and necessities for this adoption – including regular updates on this blog. I help here and there when I can, but her care and devotion have really kept the momentum going for us and are getting us there that much sooner.

As always, I am impressed. I am inspired. I am thrilled. I am grateful.

Maile timilai maayaa gardachu.

Goodness.

Two months ago today I wrote my first blog post. And two months ago today I was reflecting on the same thing I'm reflecting on right now - the goodness of people.

We went to our first parenting/education class today. It was a long 7 hours, the room was warm and stuffy, and the chairs weren't super comfortable. We learned about trauma, about some of the challenges of adopting, a bit about attachment disorder and we heard from two adults who were adopted when they were babies. Lots of stuff that was, quite frankly, hard to hear. And harder to grasp.

But talk about some poignant moments...one couple in the class already has their "referral" and they have traveled to Haiti twice to see their babies (yes, twins!), but have not been able to get them home yet. I watched them, across the room from each other, each tear up as a woman in a video described seeing her child for the first time and "recognizing her child". A few of the couples in the room are adopting older children with special needs from foster care; what a courageous and loving thing to do. I watched two women sit with tears streaming down their cheeks as we discussed what some of these children have lived through...and what it will take to raise them. I thought there was so much beauty in this group of people, eager to be joined with a child who needs them, eager to do their absolute best by those children, eager to share their love. And all the while aware that it'll be messy, hard and far from perfect... yet they're unwavering in their commitment.

So, yeah, people do terrible things. People abandon babies, people hurt other people and animals, people start wars. But to glimpse the love that we're capable of...just makes me believe a bit more that the world's better than we know. We're just not always good at seeing it. Namaste for now.

"They don't teach this stuff in school..."

But they do teach it when you're adopting! We have our first parenting course tomorrow (all day Saturday). It's part of 24 hours of education we have to complete. I'm sure glad it starts at 9am instead of 8am. Although 11am would be even better.

The fun part about the I-600A...

Today we filed our I-600A, which means we "applied for advanced processing of an orphan" through US Immigration. How exciting, huh?! Now, we wait for our I-171H, which we will receive via mail from the INS in a month or so. The I-171H is the notice that the I-600 application has been approved and forwarded. I'm pretty much at the mercy of our adoption agency and community at this point, because what happens from here on out has me a bit confused. The good news is that we've made great progress, fairly quickly, I think. So I'll just keep checking things off the list. (I know - hard to believe there's still a "list" after 2.5 months of working on this nearly every day - but there is!)

The fun part about the I-600 is that the people in line to get their fingerprints right behind us had an envelope that looked suspiciously similar to ours. So, never the shy one, I asked if they were adopting. Turns out that they are - and they're adopting from Nepal - to boot! They are really great - Jenny & Kevin from Boulder. We're hoping they can join us on Sunday at our Colorado/Nepal Adoption Pot Luck. Who knows, maybe we'll travel to Nepal at the same time!

No stretch marks here.

There are some times when I'm bummed about not experiencing a physical pregnancy. No baby growing in my tummy. No cute maternity clothes. No tiny first kick. No baby shower...and no husband looking at me with wonder and awe, as I imagine most fathers-to-be do.

So I'll just think of the process as the pregnancy, the trips to the agency as the sonograms, the trip to Nepal as the labor... and wait anxiously for the day our baby is handed to us for the first time; just as it is so extraordinarily and undeniably meant to be. Because for absolute sure, while our pebble isn't growing in my tummy, our baby is growing in my heart. Namaste for now.

They like us...they really like us!

We got an email with our *draft* homestudy from the agency today. Tonight we'll review it, will likely suggest some tweaks, and then will send it back for finalization. We didn't know what to expect - but from an initial glance - it seems pretty good/positive...
Meanwhile, still trying to kick this darn flu. Namaste for now.