So I have to sit back, abandon hope that things should be any different than they are this very minute. I have a beautiful house, a wonderful husband and sweet dog I adore more than anything, a great career and my health. The rest I have to let go of, because it's too painful to try to hold on to. I/we are exactly where we are supposed to be. I/we are blessed in this very moment.
Congrats to those who have received referrals! Sending you positive thoughts for quick and safe travels.
We've met amazing friends on this journey. We've learned a lot about a beautiful country. We've had the tremendous support of complete strangers through message boards and the support of friends and family. While I've been consistent in my blogging, in keeping flowers on our baby's shrine, in my belief that Nepal is where our child is, I need to step away for a while and let go. I simply cannot do it right now. I need to abandon hope.
Namaste
1 comment:
Dear,
Sending you postive energy. I feel your pain. I know it is horrendous. It is just unbearable.
I have practiced some of the techniques of Pema Chodron too. Sometimes I find it a bit too pessimistic and a torture.
Another school of thought is that you are entitled to abundance and bliss and you are going to get it. When you finally have your child in your hand you will so get it why you had to wait for that special child.
Now that I have mine I so know that the pain I felt was real. It is not a matter of me "not being thankful" for what I had or being jealous of what others were had/receiving (not that your are). I used to feel guilty about feeling bad. I knew she was to come to me and I was yearning for her. That's all.
She could not have been more perfect for me. When you have your child in your hand I would so like to read why he/she is so perfect for you. With your spiritual outlook you will be in tears realizing the miracle you have been given and the unbelievability of it will surprise you all through your life.
Your baby is coming ... Cry/weep curse me if you want. But it is going to be very special. That is what I am wishing for you.
Regards
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