Monday, May 30, 2011

REI and the Family Stone

We went to REI this weekend and bought our first major purchase for BBS (baby boy Stone). Drum roll please... the BOB stroller! We are actually pretty excited about this stroller, and even discussed taking it around the block - just because we can. (We didn't. Not yet anyway).

While we were at REI we decided to drop the 20 buckaroos to get BBS his very own lifetime membership to REI. Yep. He's got an REI card before he even has a passport or social security card. Quite appropriate, I think!

Colorado's waiting, mamoosh! Let's get you home!

(Sly and the Family Stone? Anyone??)

Saturday, May 28, 2011

This old pup.

Our sweet pup is getting old. He's not able to hike as long as he was even last summer, and he's very sore after walks of more than 30 minutes or so. Sometimes, when he tries to stand after a longer walk, his back legs just won't cooperate. Poor sweet Jackson. How I love this dog.

Last night as we were getting ready to go to bed, he got sprayed by a skunk. Fortunately the anti-skunk remedy we found online and also were told by the emergency vet worked VERY well! Not sure who was more unhappy - him, for having to have 3 baths in a row with different concoctions at midnight, or us, for having to give him 3 baths in a row with different concoctions at midnight!

This sweet pup:
  • Carries around a stuffed animal so he always has a pillow
  • Helps carry in groceries, and is offended when you don't offer him something to carry
  • Loves to roll in poop or dead animals
  • Is very upset when I'm upset
  • Loves water in any form (lake, snow, stream, etc.) except bath water
  • Howls with us, just for fun
  • Brings in the mail from the corner
  • Is sometimes the dirtiest dog I know, which makes me crazy
  • Loves to cuddle
  • Always greets us at the door with a toy (or 3) in his mouth
  • Is the biggest golden I've ever seen, with paws almost as big as my hands
  • Is a little bit, ok, a LOT scaredy cat
  • Has been my steadfast cohort on hikes for 8 years now, since I met Terry
  • Poops and pees on command
  • Knows how to get his collar, and his leash, and take them to the front door, and does so when it's time for a walk, and sometime when it's not
  • Squeeks a toy when it's dinner time... lest we forget - he'll tell us
  • Is my best friend, hiking buddy and confidante
Love you my fluffer-nutter, punkin pie. How can you be this old when to me, you're still just a pup? I wish getting old weren't so soon for you, buddy.

Friday, May 27, 2011

It's not about me anymore.

We heard today that our papers are "officially logged" in with the Ethiopian courts. What does that mean? More waiting. We've been told to expect as long as 4-7 weeks more until we are told our actual court date - the date we go to Ethiopia to meet and (hopefully) get custody from Ethiopia for BBS. Then, it's another few months wait until we can go back over and bring him home.

The courts close for August and September for rainy season. Yup. They shut down. Apparently with dirt roads the downpour of rainy season makes everything impossible, including inter-country travel. If we don't get a court date assigned before then, that's an extra 2 months on to the wait time. It's two additional months that BBS is in an orphanage and not in our care. 

What I want to do right now is SCREAM and CRY and THROW PLATES and CURSE and HAVE A TEMPER TANTRUM. I want to BECOME THE OUT OF CONTROL STORM that is just below my surface. I want to yell at the agency, the agency's rep in Ethiopia and anyone who has anything to do with the timing of this process. Or the person at Starbucks. Or my husband. I want to tell them that this isn't fair and I hate this and they are making this hell for me and for BBS.

But, what I will do, instead, is go sit in BBS's room and have a good cry. I'll tell him I love him and hope he's here soon. Because now I'm a mother, so that's what I have to find the strength to do. And some day, I'll tell our sweet little boy that sometimes you have to just do your best, because sometimes, that's all you can do.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Today.

Must remember to not get so wrapped up in what I want, that I forget what I have.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Pebbles and Stones

 When I travel, I generally try to find a small pebble or stone to take home with me, I love rocks/stones/pebbles of all shapes/sizes. (Insert joke here about marrying a Stone…) I have a big bowl filled with all of these beautiful river rocks, sand stones, crystals, etc., from around the country and world. (The most recent addition was a white, heart-shaped stone I found in Austria on the banks of the Salzach river.) The bigger stones live in the garden.

Now, my parents will chime in here and tell you I tried to bring a small boulder home from California on a family vacation when I was about 7. (I was convinced it was a geode. My dad tried to break it so I could take part of it - but I ended up going home without it. I'm pretty sure I shed a few tears. But it was a really great big, round stone.) In his defense, dad has brought me many great, big rocks and stones since then. :)

ANYWAY! I’ve been going for walks on the beach each morning while I'm here in Florida. I have been looking for stones or pebbles, but only finding seashells, coral or seaweed. Not a fan of the seashell. Too breakable and, well, sea-shelly. But today, I found a stone! It was an interesting shape, so I picked it up - if for no other reason. It was kind ugly, but like I said, not many options. I carried it back to my beach chair, and was looking at it, trying to decide if it was worthy of my collection, because honestly, I wasn't inspired. Then, out of nowhere, I had a thought. And I Googled the map of Ethiopia. Take a look below to find out what I discovered…
Is it just me?

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Playing at the beach.

I'm in Boca Raton, Florida for work this week. (This does not suck.) I'm moderating and presenting at a conference next week, so while I AM spending my weekend writing my script and my presentations, I'm doing it from a beach chair with hourly dips into the Atlantic. Like I said, it doesn't suck.

Today, throughout the day, I thought of my boys, and how fun it will be to bring them to the beach. 

There's BBS, of course, with whom I cannot wait to frolic in the waves and build sand castles (and then destroy them - because, after all, he is a little boy...)

But there's also our pup, who's not a baby anymore, Jackson Stone. You've seen pictures and I've written about him in this blog. He's pretty much my first-born. I love this dog more than just about anything. So - he's my other boy I want to bring to the beach. If there are two things in the world this dog loves, they are dirt and water. I think he would go absolutely nuts at the ocean, and I would love, love, love to see it. And, I'd love to be able to give him that joy before he gets too old. Which, unfortunately, is upon us already.

So that's what I want for Christmas this year. I want to take my two boys to the beach. Along with my man. That's all. No presents, no prime rib, no stockings hung by the chimney with care, no sparkly tree. Just me and my guys at the beach. That is about the best thing I can even begin to imagine.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Today is 8 weeks...

...since we learned about our little miracle. We learned that his paperwork is being submitted this week for a court date. God Speed!

Friday, May 13, 2011

This little piggy...

BBS has gained 2 pounds in the last month!! Woo hoo! We got an update from the orphanage today, and when I got finished converting kilograms to pounds, I shed a few tears of happiness. (Surprised even myself!) And two cute pictures of that little sucker. He's growing for sure.

He has grown 1 cm, and his head has grown 2 cm. He's still sporting a faux-hawk (or a fro-hawk), so hopefully that will fill in soon. (Thanks for pointing it out, Aunt Whitney!)

We are so proud of our little pebble for growing so well!!

No news on court date. (Thanks for your comment, Theresa, do I dare to even hope??)

This little piggy needs to say "wee wee wee" all the way home, soon!

Happy Weekend.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The things that scare me.

I don't like things that scare me. I'm scared of spiders. I'm scared of crazy people. I'm scared of enormous excel spreadsheets. Great white sharks. Germs.  I'm scared of the dark. (Kinda. Not as much as the spreadsheets.)

The idea that we may have to wait any longer, much less significantly longer than we'd originally thought to get BBS home not only scares me, it literally sickens me. It's the scariest thing I can think of. I would bravely battle all of the above at once to get him home soon, and safely.

Our agency sent notice last week that the group responsible for processing files in Ethiopia has gone from processing between 20-40 files a day, to a maximum of 5 files a day. (Insert dagger in heart.) Yes, I said "20-40" to "5 at the most".

How this will effect us is yet to be seen. Apparently, discussions are underway to determine if it's possible to increase this number, but all of the details are somewhat blurry - why the slowdown, can it be reversed, etc.

Today is week 7, day 50, since we learned about our son. And every, single thing regarding the process of getting him home is out of our control. Every. Thing. After Nepal, I have a distant but nagging fears that this will all slip through our fingers. There's nothing we can do. It's out of our control.

What IS in our control is preparing for him to be with us physically. Emotionally, we must bear the burden, once again, of great uncertainty - and so so gracefully. Spiritually, we already are deep into the process of falling in love with him.

It is my deepest hope that it's ebbs and flows, and that things will soon resolve and begin moving once again, for all involved.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mom, you were right.

I do wish I would have kept up with piano lessons. Happy Mother's day, I love you!

And a few more favorite pics with mom.



Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Hello little dinosaur friends!

That's what his onesie in his most recent picture says. (I know, because I look at his pictures 20 times a day.) He's bright-eyed and beautiful. He's the most gorgeous shade of brown, and has rosy cheeks and sweet pink lips. He's tiny.

Six weeks yesterday we got news of him. No word on court date, or if his paperwork has even been submitted to the court system to get in line for a court date.

Mommy's heart aches.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

This is a problem.

I have just realized that when we get BBS home I am going to have to forgo both dangling earrings and any cute shoes involving heels for an unknown period of time.

The dangling earrings (90% of my earring wardrobe!) will just be too dangerous. BBS could latch on, and the potential resulting bloodshed is probably not worth the cuteness / fashion statement of said earrings.

The heels (80% of my shoe wardrobe) will be difficult in that when I lean over to pick up or carry BBS, I'll need more stability than heels might offer. The combination of a lack of grace, and a bad lower back do not bode well for me, or BBS for that matter.

I can go with the Danksos and a few pair of flats for a while. The lack of post-type earrings present a larger problem.

So much to figure out!