I am going to come clean as to the real situation here. I have been avoiding writing about it as I didn't want to come across as "feeling sorry for myself". I didn't want to complain and wallow in my pain. I am now numb. At the same time I am mad as hell.
I had a bad feeling in my gut on Friday. I had a total breakdown. And I now believe it was my intuition. The mother in me knew that everything was about to change. And change it did. Things have spiraled down quickly with regards to adoption in Ethiopia for many. So, here's the reality we're facing:
1.) Since Friday, we have learned that cases with our agency and others are being sent to Nairobi for adjudication. You can read the link to get an idea as to what this means, but basically it's an escalation point, and a totally new layer of bureaucracy from our beloved nation. It's adding many, many months to the process. And, the eventual outcome is unclear as to what even happens with the children.
2.) The US Embassy will not clearly state what requirements they're looking for that "define a true orphan", or why these cases are being sent to Nairobi. They will not say what has changed, and why 85% of cases are being sent for adjudication versus just months ago when 85% of cases were approved. The keys here are vagueness and subjective decision-making versus objective decision-making.
3.) We have learned that there is no progress (that we can tell) with Samuel's case. We simply cannot get answers from our agency on what is happening with the additional requests for information on his case. I will again use the word vague. A theme is emerging.
While last week I was packing Sam's bags for the trip to bring him home from Ethiopia, we are now speaking to immigration attorneys. We are considering hiring a private investigator and are at peace individually and together as to how to proceed based on what we could learn. We are continuing to work our state governments and utilize any support we can get from friends and families' connections. We are planning trips to see Samuel and meet with our agency in country. We are making phone calls, writing emails, demanding information and preparing for war. Yes, our world has completely changed. This, our agency tells us, is "the new norm". I have a couple of choice words for this "new norm" and all of those involved, and they are: 1.) Screw. 2.) You.
We have no idea what the future holds - but for sure, it's one of two things: our greatest dreams realized, or our greatest fears come true. There's no grey here.
We were matched with him on March 22nd. Samuel turns 1 on Saturday.
10 comments:
I am so sorry your case has been caught up in this mess. You are right the program has spiraled out of control as everyone there tries to determine/ensure ethical adoptions. But there is no consistency or clear standards and that is maddening. One thing is certain and that is he is your son. Do whatever you have to do to be with him and bring him home. He needs you more than ever now. My prayers are with you.
:-(
no words, only love to you all.
Prayers sent out to you and your family.
I'm so sorry to hear your son is caught in the middle of this mess. I was caught up in Nepal and got lucky, but had friends who also had to hire investigators. They were able to bring their son home, so please don't give up hope. If you need me to put you in contact with her, I will.
Praying for you all.
O.M.G. I am so sorry. I wish I could say something better, something helpful. I'm just so sorry to read this.
Anne- I am so sad to read your recent update... there are no words to say other than how can I help? know that there are so many people thinking of you guys and praying for answers..
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this mess. I do think you're right to hire an investigator and possibly a lawyer. So frustrating, but at this point you just have to be aggressive about dealing with the embassy. If it's any comfort try to remember that in Nepal despite claims that corruption was rampant, not one case of corruption was substantiated in the "pipeline families", and in the end every child who's file was sent to India for further investigation was finally was approved and they were all able to join their families the US.
I'm so sorry/ angry/ frustrated/pissed that you have to deal with this and children who need homes are being caught in the middle of this bureaucratic nightmare , but so sadly, it is the "new norm".
Been there and done that AND BROUGHT HER HOME!!! (from Nepal) and you will too...just wait and see. I'm sure you have the names of the best of the best lawyers, now you just hang on for the ride. HE WILL COME HOME.
just reading this after being away for the past week. :( I am so sorry!! Thinking of you.
I'm so sorry to read this. It's so unfair. I'm so tired of hearing about the US gov't screwing over another family who only wants to love a child. And it seems they always forget what's best for the child. Yes, Yes, ethical adoptions are important. But how about some consistency? And fairness? So sorry.... have faith. He will eventually get home. I know you'll move heaven and earth to make it happen.
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