Pics from week #2!

A few pics from our first 5 days!

We're all doing well. The boys are both trying to adjust to new timezone, Samuel is trying to adjust to everything, Jackson is trying to adjust to life with Samuel and I am trying to adjust to all of this adjustment! And, of course, to take care of my 3 boys.

The highlights have been seeing my husband become a daddy, seeing Samuel's laughter and joy, bath time and naked-boy time right before bath time, all of Samuel's hysterical sounds - he's very very chirpy and makes the funniest noises, and Samuel sleeping in my arms. Of course challenges, too, but we're - as I said - adjusting!

One More American!

Details and more photos to follow...busy loving on my son and husband. Suffice to say all is well in the Stone household!

How am I supposed to sleep???

Just talked to Terry in Frankfurt for about 3 minutes. Samuel was gibbering and cooing in the background the entire time. That's the first time I've heard my son gibber or coo! OMG. It's starting to feel real! SO EXCITED. So glad my mom's here.

Landing in Frankfurt in 32 minutes!

The trip is about 1/3 of the way over, the boys land in Frankfurt in just over :30 minutes, then have a (ugh) 8-hour layover, before the final and direct flight to Denver!

AHHHHHH!

Now it's just a (long) plane trip!

The embassy appointment went well! Now it's a matter of picking up the Visa, a few 10-hour flights with an 8-hour layover in Frankfurt, and my baby and my baby will be home!

No new pics. Daddy has been a *little* busy, so nothing new sent since they picked him up on Saturday. But all sounds like it's going well! Samuel is eating well (can't get enough, poor little wee thing), sleeping well, playing well and apparently pooping a lot! I can't wait to have them BOTH in my arms.

1057 days. That's a long pregnancy.

Honesty

Yes, I'm excited.
Yes, I'm scared to death.
Yes, I feel more grateful for my husband, mom and dad than ever. And Jackson, too.

Tomorrow is Embassy Day!

Actually, Terry & Samuel's appointment is in just over a couple of hours, because they're already in tomorrow.

I have been instructed that it's critical that I post at least daily, so I will be better this week! Here's the news from today.

The first day away from the orphanage went great! Samuel is apparently quite a clown, and gets his second wind after dinner. Terry isn't happy with the poopy diaper situation. Samuel slept well for close to 9 hours, Papa and Daddy didn't sleep much at all.

The escape:

First meal:

Papa & Samuel:

My handsome boys:

Three generations:

Update!

A quick update. My dad arrived in Ethiopia today to help Terry bring Samuel home. (Although it was a tough choice, we had to decide to send my dad instead of me for some personal reasons.)

Tomorrow, they'll pick up Samuel from the orphanage and hand over a 45-pound duffel bag of shoes as a donation for the orphanage.

On Monday, Terry has his appointment with Samuel at the US Embassy.

On Wednesday, Terry will pick up Samuel's visa, then the 3 guys fly out late that night.

On Thursday, November 24 (Thanksgiving day!) at 2:10pm, they land in Denver! And this PEBBLE will have become a STONE!

Here are a few more pics.

Introducing Samuel August Stone!!

Our I-600 decision came in at 4:06am! We are thrilled to introduce our son.

Samuel should be arriving on Colorado ground with his daddy and poppa around 2pm on Thanksgiving day. Quick email sent to families, and blog updated, so you are among the first to hear! Will call people and send more updates in the am, but I just had to let someone know!!

Now - it's 4:23am so back to bed. (Yeah, right!)

WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We love you Samuel! You'll be with Mommy and big brother Jackson soon!!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Big Week (Hopefully!) For The Stone Family

It's hard to even begin to think about how to communicate everything that has happened since Terry went to Ethiopia more than 2 weeks ago. To say it has been a roller-coaster ride would be a total understatement. He's still there. We have extended his trip twice.

We now have an amazing adoption/immigration attorney involved, a US Senator (Senator Landrieu) personally involved, and have basically taught the people at our orphanage, our agency, and our agency's in-country attorney how to do an investigation on a child and navigate the US Embassy and USCIS. We have done all of the work on our son's case on our own - not including, of course, your prayers, thoughts and support, which is literally what has kept us going.

So, if all goes well, we should/could/hope to hear something pretty substantial this week.

Thanks again. I *hope* the next time I post, I'm sharing some really, really good news. And pictures.

How it is.

1. 8-11am: various text/phone calls/emails back and forth with Terry regarding: Samuel, witnesses, affidavits, agency, orphanage, guest house, money transfers, changing flights, Ethiopia attorneys, US attorneys, US Embassy, USCIS or any other number of details
2. Most of day: try to focus on work and enormous product launch coming up, filling open position and reworking entire marketing strategy with reduced staff and budget
• A the same time, work on any required adoption details (see #1) including conference calls with US attorney, useless agency and other adoptive families + try to keep family + friends up to date
3. Evening: feed/walk BFF Jackson, sit on conference calls with Japan (see #2) or adoptive families, catch up on work missed due to conference calls on adoption during day
4. 10-12pm: more communications with Terry regarding adoption details (see #1)
5. All night: when I wake: check iphone and email for any updates from Terry, and since I'm up anyway - whip off email responses to Japan
6. 24 hours a day: swing up and down between worry, hope, despair, excitement, fear. Obsessive cleaning of baseboards.
7. Repeat

Yup. That's how it is around here. Kyn/Lynn - I know you've danced this dance.

S.P.I.T. !!!

My husband has traveled to the town in Northern Ethiopia where Samuel is from, and he's doing the investigations in conjunction with the orphanage. He is Secret Private Investigator Terry. I'm so proud of him for what he's doing to fight to bring our son home. We hope to know much more next week... 

I continue to work things on the home front. This is definitely all-consuming! Meanwhile I have the cutest freaking pictures of Samuel from this week, I can hardly stand it. I wish I could post them - but we agreed with the agency in our contracts that we wouldn't publish identifying information until we pass embassy. But then again, it's not like they're holding up their side of the contract.

Per my last post, we're much more on hope than despair this week!

Oh - and per my post below that, the bear (the $50 customer bear with recordings from mommy and daddy) made him cry!! Poor baby. I guess that would be pretty scary.

Despair. Hope. Despair. Hope. Despair. Hope...

Terry is in Ethiopia for 2 weeks trying to work out this whole nightmare. Things have spiraled downhill with regards to ours and many Ethiopian adoptions in the last 2 months. But stay tuned - there is now hope where there wasn't yesterday.

After hearing very disturbing news about our particular case on Friday, we got Terry there as quickly as possible to see what, exactly, is going on. He got in country on Monday night. He met with our agency's attorney first thing on Tuesday, and found out NOTHING has been done on our case in the 8 weeks since the embassy sent our case back for more information. Can you imagine how bat-shit crazy this makes me?!

The good news is that  now we are working with an attorney in the US with whom I am thrilled - and we actually have hope after going through a weekend thinking we had lost our son. She personally has an adopted child from Vietnam and got stuck in the process with the US Government there – so this is her life’s work. She has gotten many, many families home from Nepal, Vietnam and now is starting with Ethiopia. She assures us she can help us – the only caveat being that Terry may have to spend some extra time in Ethiopia being a “private investigator” to fight this fight. It depends on if he can light any fires at all under our agency's butts, which I have absolutely no faith in, whatsoever. So, now Terry and I are officially Private Investigators, Attorneys and Adoption Agency workers - you name it, it's all on us. 

I am dying to get over there and hold my baby, but someone has to be on this end to work things, too. And oh, there's that little problem of one failed adoption and now this - which leaves us just a TEENY bit, um, stretched. So my trip is on hold.

Terry has seen Samuel twice in the two days he has been there. Yes, he’s bald!! (Samuel, not Terry.) I miss his little Fro-hawk! (Samuel, not Terry.) They had to shave his head for a hospital visit (Samuel, not Terry.)  I guess in Ethiopia they put IV’s in babies’ heads when they’re dehydrated. Poor baby – he had "violent vomiting and dehydration". We’re still not sure what exactly is going on with that, and of course that make me a bit nuts. But Terry said he seems OK. I, however, am NOT OK WITH THIS AT ALL!! Nor the fact no one let us know he was sick. I need him home where I can take care of him. (Samuel and Terry.)

Thanks for everyone’s support, it is much appreciated.

Sam's Bear is on his way to Ethiopia

We went to Build-A-Bear this weekend and made a bear that has recorded messages from mommy when you squeeze his hands, and from daddy when you squeeze his feet. My mom had made this t-shirt for a previous bear, but it fit this new bear perfectly, so he's well-dressed and headed to Africa.

I can't begin to tell you how nightmarish our last week has been, so I won't. Suffice to say things have gone from bad to worse. I could seriously strangle every single !#!&@(^%  person at our agency right now. Too much has transpired to write about, and, quite frankly, I don't have the wherewithal to share it now.

Mom and dad are coming to visit and to help clean up our yard after the snowstorm, which looks like a hurricane came through. But, mostly, I think they're coming to be with their baby while her heart is breaking trying to get her baby. And, my husband is the most amazing man in the world. I'm thankful for parents, and husbands. And of course sweet pups. And I'm scared to death.

Bustin' A Move

Terry is headed to ET next week to see Samuel, meet with our agency, our agency's attorney, USCIS and the Embassy. We don't expect this will result in any immediate action on our behalf, but we need information. I have a ticket booked for later in November to visit Samuel and meet with whomever is appropriate at that time.

The lack of information from our Agency is infuriating. The actions of the United States are unconscionable. The inability to actually "do" anything for Samuel is heartbreaking.

Snake Attack! And a whole lotta BS.

OK. I'll save the snake attack bit for last.

In terms of Samuel - no news, things continue to get more convoluted. The biggest problem we have right now is that our agency won't or "can't" update us on Samuel's file. It is infuriating and I have given them a pretty big kick in the rear asking / demanding we get an update. OK - in truth I've done this multiple times now. But this time I am losing patience. I am pissed. We're to talk with them Monday. We continue to work with government officials, make requests/demands, etc. But until we know what is in Samuel's files we're basically stuck. Yes, so our agency/orphanage now are the ones screwing us in addition to the government. Nice. (I realize that's strong language, not as descriptive as what I wanted to write...) We do need to keep a good relationship with them, so I am trying to control myself, but getting strong in my requests for information. 

I actually have to force myself (with the help of my hubby/dog) to let go of all of the blogs / Facebook information being posted / phone calls to be made / letters and emails to be written, etc, as it can be overwhelming and could easily kill or at least seriously maim a person. I did start a private blog where we're discussing who's doing what, who's talking to whom, what can we do as a group, and all things Ethiopia adoption related for those of us "stuck". I am trying to check it once a day versus every 5 minutes. It's seriously easily a full time job. Thanks, US government. Thanks, agency.

The good news is the giardia I obtained while in Africa is almost gone, and I'm feeling good enough to hike again. Thank god, as it is my most favorite past-time, and it helps with the stress (see paragraph above about getting totally consumed by the adoption problems.) 

Anyway, on a hike today,  Jackson and I were struck at today by a small rattlesnake!!! He was probably 18 inches or so. He missed us and took off like a shot (the snake). I jumped 2 feet in the air, as did Jackson. I (loudly) screamed "HOLY SH!T". When I pulled myself together, I apologized for my language to the Mennonite family with small children a few feet behind me on the trail. The mother, complete in her bonnet and modest dress, insisted we go back to see the snake - leaving the men and dog behind (I was like, right on, sister!). So we did, but that rattler was long gone. Then I took a few family pics for them, they were from Ohio, and Jackson and I were on our way.

I have come across more snakes than usual in the past month or two, and also have had some in dreams. This, of course, this led me to be interested in what the snake animal totem is about. I learned:

This a powerful totem -- it is the symbol of transformation and healing.
The Snake is wisdom expressed through healing.

It also signals a transition in your life - new opportunities and/or changes. 

Hmm. Hmmm. Hmmmmmmm.... 

A few pictures below for your viewing pleasure - although none of the snake, unfortunately!

In all fairness, I was kinda warned?

  But it's our favorite hiking spot - we're here weekly.

After a hike, old dogs sometimes need a little ice on their sore wrists :(

And, while I was in Orem, Utah for work this week, I got a hike in there, as well, at Dry Creek Canyon - 2 miles from my office. It was absolutely spectacular!

Now, in closing, before you question my work ethic...let me assure you that my between my early morning calls with Europe, my late night calls with Japan due to a big product launch and doubling my responsibility since my boss left last month  - I feel quite fine about taking a hike over lunch or after work (before my Asia shift starts).

Happy Birthday Baby Boy!

We went on a hike today - some time away to celebrate you turning 1. No phone calls, no email, no letter writing, no lawyers, no private investigators, no agency, no US Embassy, no Senators, no USCIS. Just a family of 3, desperately wanting to be a family of 4. We love you.

We stopped and sang Happy Birthday to you, baby boy. We had a wonderful day. We miss you and our hearts are breaking.

The "new norm".

I am going to come clean as to the real situation here. I have been avoiding writing about it as I didn't want to come across as "feeling sorry for myself". I didn't want to complain and wallow in my pain. I am now numb. At the same time I am mad as hell.

I had a bad feeling in my gut on Friday. I had a total breakdown. And I now believe it was my intuition. The mother in me knew that everything was about to change. And change it did. Things have spiraled down quickly with regards to adoption in Ethiopia for many. So, here's the reality we're facing:

1.) Since Friday, we have learned that cases with our agency and others are being sent to Nairobi for adjudication. You can read the link to get an idea as to what this means, but basically it's an escalation point, and a totally new layer of bureaucracy from our beloved nation. It's adding many, many months to the process. And, the eventual outcome is unclear as to what even happens with the children.

2.) The US Embassy will not clearly state what requirements they're looking for that "define a true orphan", or why these cases are being sent to Nairobi. They will not say what has changed, and why 85% of cases are being sent for adjudication versus just months ago when 85% of cases were approved. The keys here are vagueness and subjective decision-making versus objective decision-making.

3.) We have learned that there is no progress (that we can tell) with Samuel's case. We simply cannot get answers from our agency on what is happening with the additional requests for information on his case. I will again use the word vague. A theme is emerging.

While last week I was packing Sam's bags for the trip to bring him home from Ethiopia, we are now speaking to immigration attorneys. We are considering hiring a private investigator and are at peace individually and together as to how to proceed based on what we could learn. We are continuing to work our state governments and utilize any support we can get from friends and families' connections. We are planning trips to see Samuel and meet with our agency in country. We are making phone calls, writing emails, demanding information and preparing for war. Yes, our world has completely changed. This, our agency tells us, is "the new norm". I have a couple of choice words for this "new norm" and all of those involved, and they are: 1.) Screw. 2.) You.

We have no idea what the future holds - but for sure, it's one of two things: our greatest dreams realized, or our greatest fears come true. There's no grey here.

We were matched with him on March 22nd. Samuel turns 1 on Saturday.

The girl with the flower.

I just want to offer gratitude for your thoughts, prayers and simple kindnesses. It's what's getting me through most days. The love & prayers, notes & phone calls we have coming our way are the most beautiful gifts. And we're very grateful.

While we were in Ethiopia, Terry traveled North - to the town Samuel is from. I stayed and got an extra visit with Samuel. We sat outside at the orphanage in the sun, surrounded by many older kids who were playing tag. Once the kids saw Samuel and me - they were fascinated with both of us. They don't see white people super often, and they don't often see the babies - who live in a different part of the orphanage. The surrounded us, and we played pattycakes and they touched my hair and Samuel's cheeks.

Anyway, there was a little girl who was carrying a flower just like the one in this picture above. She was so sweet - and shyly approached me to touch my strange white skin, and to see Samuel. She wasn't the youngest, or the cutest little girl. But something in her touched me. I tried to find her the next day, our final visit with Samuel, as the orphanage was going to see if she had been matched with a family. But Terry got violently ill - and I had to tend to him and get him to the clinic as soon as possible. I had to very quickly say goodbye to my son. I had to take care of my husband. I couldn't find the little girl with the flower. I hope she's ok.

I will never forget that day. All those kids. All those beautiful children. And Samuel, most of all. So far away. So very far away now.

No news. Nothing to report. 

We miss you so much.

I think of you every day. Every hour. Most every minute. 

We're doing everything we can short of moving heaven and earth to get you home. And if we could find a way, we'd move heaven and earth, too. 


We hope you're safe, and warm, and happy. And I hope blue bear reminds you of us. We'll be there soon...as soon as we possibly can, and maybe even sooner.


Love, your mommy, daddy and brother Jackson.

994 days.

"Request for additional document"

That's how our response from the Embassy subject line read. Although they're really requesting more information not another document. But I won't go into the poor grammar in our email from the last week. That's the least of my complaints.

Let me make it clear - I support the transparent and ethical processing of adoption files. I am not suggesting that we be able to bring our son home in the event that there's any indication he has family in Ethiopia who want to, and are capable of, raising him. If in the event this second investigation did uncover that type of information, it would absolutely crush us, but we would do what we could to support him and help him get an education if possible.

Here's the thing. I have been on the phone much of the last 2 business days with our agency, various government offices, and finally, today - I talked to the "Country Officer for Ethiopia Policy Issues" in DC. What I have learned, boiled down and in my words, is that there is a misunderstanding of requirements for files being presented to Embassy. This Embassy contact - who was very nice - assured me they've done in-person training workshops in Ethiopia, with adoption agencies and care centers. Our agency says no new requirements have been communicated. Ummmm.....THERE IS A PROBLEM HERE PEOPLE. While the contact at the Embassy said there are not new requirements for these files, she did say "there is an additional layer of scrutiny" (i.e. new requirements!?!?). 

The math makes sense. A seemingly undefined "additional layer of scrutiny" + recent new staff at the Embassy in ET (i.e. people wanting to prove themselves, therefore asking, in many instances, for files to be completely re-assembled with information that may or may not have been originally required when the file was put together, and in some cases is already in the file) = BUREAUCRATIC BS KEEPING OUR SON, AND MANY CHILDREN IN AN ORPHANAGE FOR HOW MUCH LONGER??

The in-country agencies and care centers are now having to go back and get additional information on nearly every file. This is a resource strain on an already challenged infrastructure. Does this mean my child is held less because someone has to go dig up more information? Fed less, because they have to pay for the gas to drive to his birth town and get additional details? If you haven't been - telecommunications in Ethiopia are semi-existent in the best case scenario. So with this in mind, is it a leap to assume the care centers and agencies in Ethiopia, would, in their best interests, provide the required information the first time if they were crystal clear on what those requirements were? Maybe not. I don't know.

None of the cases that have been under the "additional layer of scrutiny" have been denied. That's good news. But. This is sounding more and more like NEPAL. And it makes me sick.

Once again: I support transparent, ethical adoptions, and children growing up in their families of origin. What I do not support is poor communication, finger-pointing and witch-hunts as the rule and not the exception - all resulting in children being institutionalized endlessly.

Ok (stepping off soapbox). I'll funnel this energy into something positive. Just had to vent.

/ˈkrāzē/

cra·zy / Adjective: senseless; impractical; totally unsound. (The state of Anne these days...)

I may be crazy but it keeps me from going insane.
-Waylon Jennings

Really good stuff.

We FINALLY took our infant/child CPR class on Saturday. One more crazy-long CD of at-home training and we're finished with our training! We also made another trip to IKEA to get a dresser that will also function as a changing table. Once we get that built we should be finished, at long last, with his room! 

While at IKEA (which also happens to be my own personal hell) we got Samuel his very own Jackson. And the moment I picked it up and Terry couldn't, or wouldn't, say "no" - I loved my husband more than ever. You see, he'll complain about spending too much, we have too much crap, spending too much, we have too much crap, on and on (and I agree). But I know that he let me take that $15.00 huge golden-retriever stuffed animal that WE DO NOT NEED AT ALL, without protest, to the cashier because he loves both our golden, and our little boy so much. I'll never forget that moment.THAT is who I am lucky enough to be married to.

And - we got our monthly update (about a month late) from the orphanage. He's growing and gaining weight. And in one of the pictures, Samuel is SMILING! (We have video of him smiling, but this is the first documented photograph of the elusive Samuel Stone smile. And it's a spectacular, silly, toothless baby grin that I wish I could post and I look at at least 50 times a day.) I don't think there's anything that could have made me happier than that picture and my husband's heart this weekend. Such good stuff.

I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours?

If you're reading this and I don't have your blog posted in my blog roll, can you please comment with your blog address? I want to be sure and post.

Thanks!

Another milestone passed!

We learned yesterday (with great joy!) that our baby boy's paperwork was submitted to the US Embassy in Ethiopia on September 1. (SO HAPPY!)

This marks (what we hope is) the final leg of our long journey. The embassy will review his file once it crosses their desks (we have no idea how many cases are in front of us). They'll set an appointment/date for us to return to Addis, meet with the embassy and bring our son home. Or, they'll request more information on his case. The timing here is completely unknown. BEST FREAKY CRAZY MIRACLE time-frame scenario would be a phone call with good news in just a few weeks. I won't write worst case, cause that's not where my energy's going.

I would like to humbly request a freaky, crazy, beautiful, sudden miracle, please! (But then again, he is our miracle, so is it even fair to ask for another?!)

Regression then progression...

That was SOME regression on my last post. (Yep, I'm having a tough time.) I appreciate your comments, insights and support more than you know. It's what gets me through some of the harder days. Thanks, y'all.

SO. I'm now pulling myself together, sorting baby/toddler clothes, writing thank you notes, working on his room, and assuming this is all going to continue to come together. (Yes - I did iron 2 tiny little denim/chambray shirts. I'm a bit obsessive about ironing. No, I don't expect I'll have time for this once he gets home. Come to think of it, I'm a bit obsessive about writing thank you notes, too, but have been a dismal failure this time around. I blame it on the giardina still making me feel like crud, combined with some stuff at work that has been all-consuming, including layoffs and budget cuts...UGH. But this isn't a work blog...)

Anyway - I have picked out what I want him to wear home, and have started packing his bag. The law of attraction, right? RIGHT????

One must arrive in Colorado in true Colorado style. Yes, his name is on his REI vest - thanks, Nona!

Good to be comfy on the plane, AND make a statement :)

We'll have to have a few alternates, because he does poop a lot. I got this groovy T in Austria the month we learned about Sam. March. (Ahem.)

Oh, Terry beckons for help with the glider. Over and out.

Unbearable.

Not a word this week. No news. I have a very unsettled feeling - things have shifted and I am terrified of the wait. We thought we'd be headed back soon. His paperwork hasn't even gone to the US Embassy yet - and that could still take - I can't even think about the time frames much less commit to writing them.

While a few weeks ago all I could do was think about him, look at pictures, watch videos of our meetings, wash his clothes and prepare his room, talk about him endlessly...now I can't. I can't bring myself to do any of it. His bedroom door is closed and I can't bear to open it. I have taken pictures down, he's not on my desk or my phone wallpaper or in my conversations. It hurts too much.

I know this may be hard to understand. I don't understand it, either. Don't judge me, it doesn't mean I don't love him. Had I not been through what we've been through I would think to people like me: "just a little while longer, he's yours - you should be thrilled". It hurts too much to know much he has changed so much since we saw him, and will change so much before we see him again. He'll be a toddler when we get him home. Not a baby. This tears me apart into a million pieces.

My husband wrote to me: "I love that your mothering instincts are so strong that it hurts when you can't (yet)". Yes. It hurts. It hurts unlike anything I've ever felt.

I want to scream and throw things and curse the governments and the gods. And some days I do. Other days I feed my sorrow and giardia with sugar or lose myself by working too much. I don't want to feel.

Why am I so crazy?  He's teething. He's trying to crawl. He's alone. He has dozens of different caregivers. I can't hold him. I can't look in his eyes. He's been in an orphanage since he was a month old. He has a cough, he has giardia. He's scared. What is being in the orphanage these extra months doing to him? He's there, we're here, he's not getting enough food, love, eye contact, stimulation, tummy time...I can't feel him anymore. He's too far away. He's so far away.

Baby Watermelon

Just in case you were wondering, you can't practice using your baby carrier with a watermelon, because watermelon don't have legs.

And no, we haven't heard a F------ thing from the agency regarding Samuel or getting his case to the US Embassy. NOT. ONE. WORD. We passed court 6 WEEKS AGO. 6 WEEKS AGO!