When all else fails...a tropical vacation is in order.

Well, I have to admit...when we started this blog...and we started our journey to international adoption 334 days ago, we thought we'd be in an entirely different place by now. Literally and figuratively.  We thought we'd be packing for a trip to Nepal over the holidays this year. (Sadly, I have continued to use the idea that we'd be in Nepal over the holidays to avoid Christmas shopping...) 

Well, we're packing, but not for Nepal. We've decided to take a trip to Costa Rica to celebrate our 5-year anniversary. (If we haven't recieved word by April, which obviously I hope isn't the case, I'm hankering for a rafting trip through the Grand Canyon.) Don't get me wrong - I'd trade it all in to go meet our baby! But, we're also not going to stop living. It will happen. And it will happen in the right time. And in the mean time, we're going to Costa Rica. Hasta luego.

Our thoughts are with the people of Nepal during this turbulent time.

Namaste for now.

I'll be back...

I haven't forgotten about my beloved blog! (Although I think this is the longest I've gone without posting since I started it.) We've got lots going on and, quite frankly, its left me with less time to get creative about blogging about nothing. I'll be back soon though with something. 
The situation is still chaotic with the government in Nepal. And we are still waiting.  
In the meantime, namaste to all. And our hearts are with those of you who have your referrals and are awaiting your notice to travel in this time of uncertainty.

Risky business and a very complicated pregnancy.

It's an extremely risky proposition: hoping to bring home a baby from a 3rd world county, half-way around the world that has a new and very unstable government, and a brand-new adoption program. Add to that a political crisis with daily protests, frequent blockades, governmental shutdowns and a capitol city that runs on 4 hours of electricity a day.

I'm not so arrogant as to say I have a strong grasp, or even a weak grasp of the political situation in Nepal. Quite the opposite...I hardly feel capable to even give an overview to those of you following our process. Suffice to say, the political situation in Nepal is very tenious and while we're told the adoption process is continuing, we have not seen or heard of progress in weeks.

When I think of all the Nepalese people have gone through and are going through with civil wars and governmental change, I can't help but feel selfish for wanting them to "fix" everything so we can have our baby. But part of it is also compassion I feel for the orphans who are helping pay the price for the political instability. While the rulers of the country, and those who want to rule the country, battle - the babies and children without families grow up in orphanages, instead of loving homes.

Many have asked us "Why don't you just go to another country?", "Why don't you just adopt domestically?", "Why don't you just have a biological child?". (Such personal questions, I sometimes flinch.) While I can't explain it, my sense is that this is our path. And I would no sooner walk away from Nepal now than I would walk away from a pregnancy that just wasn't going the way we expected.

Namaste for now.

Please...no...

We're hearing rumblings of unrest with the government in Nepal. We heard these same rumblings before the governmental shutdown over the summer which put a stop on the adoption proceedings for months.

Please - no. For the sake of the orphans, the people of Nepal, and those of us waiting to start our families. We're not giving up on Nepal, but at the same time, my heart feels like it's breaking. 


Come on, Ganesha! We need you!

Namaste.

Nothing to report. We thought things might start moving this week, but we've not heard of any referrals. Maybe next week? I'm sure we're about to have a surge of activity! It's only a matter of time. Isn't it? I have really got to come up with something more interesting to blog about than NOTHING.

Namaste.

Movement...?

The Tihar holiday (or festival of lights) in Nepal is now over, ending the festival season which has been celebrated over the last many weeks. So, will we see movement with the adoption process? Will more matches be made, more referrals sent out? We'll have to wait and see, but I think we'll see progress!

Namaste.

Learning, waiting.

We had another adoption class yesterday. (It seems as soon as we get close to completing our required hours, they increase the required hours!) The morning class was on international adoption, and in the afternoon we talked about Nepal specifically. Both were good sessions.

Outside of that, we're just waiting to hear about referrals. We both seem to think sometime next spring for us - but that is nothing more than complete and total speculation! I suppose it could be as soon as before the end of the year, or as long as a few years. I wish I knew a *little* more about timing, as I'm needing to do a little planning here :).

Namaste.

Next year at this time...

Not that you're on the edge of your seat or anything... but - there's nothing new to report. We haven't heard of any new referrals since the festivals started in Nepal in late September.

So we wait.

Meanwhile I'm planning halloween costumes for the baby and Jackson for next year. The front-runner idea is the baby  (if it's a girl) as Dorothy and Jackson as Toto. It all depends on if we can find sparkly red shoes in a size 1 and a basket that a 100-pound dog will fit in.

Namaste

Officially moving into our 4th trimester.

We're officially moving into the 4th trimester of our long-distance, out-of-body pregnancy. I've never been good at the "unknown", and have quite frankly surprised myself with the patience I've exhibited thus far in this journey. (Mom and hubby can attest to that!)

While I'm still feeling patient, I can't help but wonder how many more trimesters we have until we meet our little one. It'd be fun to know for sure that next year at this time, we'll be home, adjusted, and preparing for the holidays with our baby! Any dependable, accurate psychics out there? I kid. (I think...)

Namaste.

Well, it's kinda like an extended vacation...

Things seem to have slowed down a bit in Nepal with adoptions for now (see below post). It's kinda like if in the US we had weeks of parties on end, and were too busy celebrating our prosperity, happiness and faith to work. Things would probably slow down. But alas, we don't... unless somehow I've just been too busy working to notice said extended celebration.
So, we wait. Maybe our little one is being born during this celebration? Who knows! Could happen.
Namaste.

I'm in!

Dashain is the longest and the most auspicious festival in Nepal, celebrated by all. Dashain falls in late September to mid-October, after the monsoon season. It is 15 days long and ends on the day of the full moon. There is feasting, fasting, rituals and rejoicing. Dashain goes by many different names (Dasara, Bada Dashain, Vijaya Dashain, Durga Puja) all of which mean the same thing: a day of victory of the Gods over the wicked demons.

Thousands animal sacrifices take place to honor the Goddess Durga who is worshipped as the divine mother Goddess. (Before you judge - remember that most of us eat meat nearly every day, and it has to get to our plates somehow...) Apparently homes are thoroughly cleaned and beautifully decorated as an invitation to the mother Goddess so that she might visit and bless the home with good fortune.

There are many more details and rituals around Dashain, but I do not want to write too much as I haven't experienced Dashain myself, so I feel ill-equipped. (My limited information comes from reading and talking with people who have been....)

I can tell you that I adore nothing more than a really clean house. I’m all about honoring the mother Goddess. I also quite like meat, and local and fresh is best. I'd love to have 15 days off work to celebrate spirituality. So, as far as I'm concerned, Darshain is just my type of festival. Count me in.

Namaste

It was just a matter of time...

It sounds like about 180 files have been matched, pairing adoptive parents with orphans - and the notices (referrals) are on the way out to the families around the world. We're hearing news of many families who are recieving these referrals, and they are of course just thrilled to pieces. We're also hearing news from the families who are actually in Nepal meeting their children - and it is absolutely heartwarming! While there was a brief slowdown in matching over the summer, it appears things are moving for the time being. It's so fun to witness everyone's joy over learning about their children.

What does this mean for us? We don't know. We're really happy with our agency, although they are very cautious on giving us much information until it is 100% certain(probably for very good reason). So, we don't know anything about our personal situation in terms of timing. (I think the question of "when" is something no one can answer at this point...) It is what it is. Things will likely slow down again for the festival season coming up in Nepal - more on that next time. We'll continue to wait, our time will come.

In the meantime - we celebrate the families who are meeting their children! What a beautiful thing.

Namaste

PS - I've decided not to take the blog down for now.

To blog...or not to blog?

Prospective adoptive parents have been warned many times that the Nepalese officals are viewing all of the adoption blogs. I got (even more) confirmation this week when one of the parents who is actually in Nepal actually saw their blog on a computer screen when they walked into one of the ministry offices.

We are so excited to adopt from Nepal, and have nothing but the utmost respect for the Nepalese people, culture and religions. And, I love writing posts and investigating things about Nepal for writing posts. But will something I say be interpreted incorrectly? Could my musings be used against us?

So - to blog, or not to blog?

Namaste

8 / 8 on 9 / 9

Today, on 9/9 , it's been 8 months and 8 days since we officially started the adoption process. Just thought that was kinda fun. Yes, maybe a stretch for a blog post. Give me a day or two, I'll come up with something more creative to write about!

Namaste.

Two Fewer Orphans...

We've been reading the blogs of two families who are in Nepal and who have met, and are in the process of bringing their children home!

I check their blogs eagerly a few times a day to hear how their travels are going, learn how they're getting along with their new children, and to see any photos they have posted. I'm borderline obsessed.

While we have NO idea when we'll finally travel - and still suspect it will be quite a while - it's heart-warming to read these stories and see the pictures. Somehow it makes it all seem more real to us. These children are absolutely beautiful. And I hope they all find families, very soon.

Namaste.

Dhanybhad!

The Himalayan Times is reporting that a Minster of Women and Children has been appointed. (This has not been confirmed or communicated by our agency.) It's my understanding that the Minister of Women and Children is the position that approvals the matches which pair orphans with prospective adoptive families. This is great news, as it could mean that the adoption process, which has slowed over the last few months, could speed up again!

This, on top of the news that the first prospective adoptive parents are traveling to Nepal this week, makes for a great week of happenings for those of us who are adopting from Nepal. Some of the families are likely already in Nepal - or just about to arrive. God Speed!

Namaste.

Oh Happy Day!

Wonderful news today! Three families have been approved by the Nepalese government to travel to Nepal to meet and bring home their children. It sounds like they got word today (Monday) and will be leaving for Nepal from their various locations in the next day or two. What an amazing - and I'm sure quite hectic - time for them!

Our happiness and good thoughts are with you as you travel around the world to meet your little ones!

What does this mean for the Stone family? It means nothing more than that we hold those on their journeys in our hearts, and continue to wait in wonder for the day when we will meet our Pebble.

Namaste

Teej - The Festival of Women!

Many Nepalese (and Indian) women are currently celebrating Teej. During this celebration, Hindi women feast and fast, pray for marital bliss, pray for the well-being of their husbands and children, and for the purification of their own body and soul.

I think this sounds like a beautiful and fantastic ritual! And, next year, our daughter and I (assuming we get a girl...) will celebrate this festival. For this year, I'll feast, pray for my hubby, baby and self - and wear red. (No need to go all out and fast.)

I can't think of any rituals in this country that celebrate being a women/wife/mother quite as beautifully - can you?

Namaste.

Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero.

Nothing new to report. (Are you tired of hearing that?) We're waiting for a minster to be named to the Ministry of Women and Children in Nepal. Once that happens, hopefully things with adoptions will start moving again. So, we continue to wait for our news of our pebble. Have I lost hope? Nope. This is still very right.

Namaste for now.

Dear Nepal:

We would be greatly blessed to have the opportunity to adopt one of your beautiful children. We did not choose Nepal because it is the easiest or fastest place from which to adopt; but because we feel a deep connection with the people, religions and culture of your amazing country.

We do not feel it's our "right" to be able to adopt internationally. Rather, it would be a great honor to be able to raise a child from Nepal. We promise to always respect our child's heritage, culture, and religion thoughout his or her life. We're committed to your country; we're already doing what we can to help the children of Nepal by volunteering our time to organizations that provide clothing and build schools where they're needed.

Westeners are often viewed as needing to have things happen "instantly". And while we'd love to have our child today, we're using this time to study and better understand Nepal, to build our community, prepare our home and to open our hearts for our child.

Thank you, and Namaste.

Oh...the irony!

We went to another adoption class yesterday, working towards the required 24 hours. The class was pretty good...we talked about attachment issues, the "love & logic" parenting method, and the stupid things people say or ask about your baby or adoption process - especially with inter-racial adoptions. (Wow - people are really unbelieveable sometimes - this could/should be a post on its own.)

Another interesting conversation we had was on how to NOT let the process of having or adopting a child turn you into the "mega-consumer". The leader of the class said she'd raised a family of seven (biological and adopted) children without having purchased a single high chair or playpen. We talked about all the toys, gadgets, trinkets and junk that is out there for kids and raising kids. And Terry and I personally mentioned that we'd very much NOT like to have a house full of plastic crap.

And, well, ironically, on the way home Terry and I stopped at Patagonia for their big end of season sale. (But seriously - have you seen their baby clothes?? They are freaking adorable!) We left with the first thing we've bought for the baby. It's a t-shirt. We were excited to put it in the baby's drawers when we got home. (Now, we just have to get the baby.)

No word from our agency on any movement regarding the adoptions. While we assume there is progress being made behind the scenes in Nepal, all's quiet here on the home front.

Namaste.

Things I think about when I should be sleeping...

When will we get our referral?
Will it be a boy or a girl?
Where will we be when we see the first photo?
Is our baby born yet?
Did I turn the stove off?
When will we go to Nepal?
How long will we be in Nepal?
Will I get a parasite in Nepal?
Should I return those boots?
What will our baby's Nepalese name be?
How old will our baby be?
Does our baby hear me when I talk to him/her before I go to sleep?
Will I be able to use my miles to upgrade?
Upgrade both of us?
Should I start thinking about immunizations?
Will we be over there at the same time as Jenny and Kevin?
Or Trevor and Lynn?
Won't it be exciting to call our families and share the news when we get it?
What the heck am I going to wear tomorrow?

What am I going to wear in Nepal?
When should we start on the nursery?
Will I be a good mom?
Where will we stay in Nepal?
Will our baby sleep with us or in a crib?
Do the calories burned on my hike today make up for the late-night ice cream tonight?
Will our parents fall in love with the grand baby right away?
How long from the time we get the referral until we travel?
Will I be able to sleep at all on the flight?
Will we get to sight see in Nepal?
If our baby is born already, where is he/she right now?

Come to think of it, I'll definitely keep the boots. They were on sale. And after all, soon I'll be spending money on the baby and not me.

Here's to everything unfolding as it should. Namaste.

7 Months Pregnant

We're almost 7 months paper-pregnant. And I'm getting a bit uncomfortable. You know, the usual: wondering when exactly the baby will come, not sleeping so well, strange food cravings, weight gain. Alright - the last two can't necessarily be attributed to our adoption process, but the first two can!

While I've not been physically pregnant, I can tell you that carrying around a paper-pregnancy seems to also get more uncomfortable the longer you go, as well. We're still waiting on any news from Nepal. We're not in a panic yet, though, as we did hear in June that things would likely be slowing down for a while due to the political unrest. And we're in that slowdown.

Things could change any day - and any day we could get news of referrals being sent out again. Our agency is traveling to Nepal next week for 10 days, so we'll be anxious to hear what they learn. It's all part of the process of getting our pebble. It is what it is.

Namaste.

SO Cute!!!

We had dinner at our favorite Nepalese restaurant on Friday. Our waitress had the CUTEST little girl who was running around the place. She was probably around 2ish. (I'm not good at the age-guessing thing since I don't have one yet.) I just wanted to put her in my pocket - she was adorable!! It's fun to see babies that might look like ours. I thought it'd be uncouth to pull out the camera and take a picture... not that I've ever worried about that before.

Oh, and incidentally, the waitress and her husband were the first couple ever to be married on the top of Mt Everest. She told us all about it. Cool, huh?

Nothing new to report on the adoption.

Namaste.

Who WAS that person??

So - whoever that crazy woman was... you know, the one who has been writing posts lately about the virtues of patience? Well, apparently she has left the building. Things have all but stopped with the adoption process in Nepal, due to continued challenges with their new government, etc. I won't go into detail - but it doesn't look promising for the orphans, or for us - at least in this moment.

A friend made this comment to my last post ""I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end." ~Margaret Thatcher (The friend who posted it is Jen, the quote is from Margaret Thatcher, just to be clear.)

That's now I'm feeling today - everything and anything except patient and calm. And very much wanting my way and our baby.

Namaste.

pā-shəns

Patience (pā-shəns) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast.

In Buddhism, patience is one of the "perfections" that one practices to realize perfect enlightenment. Patience is recognized within Hinduism. In both Hinduism and Buddhism there is a particular emphasis on meditation, aspects of which lead to a natural state of mindfulness that is conducive to patient, effective and well-organised thought.

In the Christian religion, patience is one of the most valuable virtues of life.

Patience and fortitude are prominent themes in Judaism.

Patience in Islam is one of the best and most valuable virtues of life.

So, no matter how you slice it... no news is just that. No news. And there's no news from Nepal, so once again we're reminded to practice, practice, practice... even if we don't want to.

Namaste.

Top Ten reasons it's a good thing we haven't gotten our referral yet:

(Obviously it's not a good thing. Work with me here... )

10.) There's always something to obsess about that I have absolutely no control over

9.) So much time to work on my "blogging about nothing" skills!

8.) No worries about whether or not the baby car seat is installed properly

7.) Haven't lost any baby socks in the laundry

6.) Don't have to worry just yet about how Jackson (­­pictured) will fare while we're gone for a month or more

5.) No need to set up that 529 for a while (see # 2.)

4.) More time to continue to build friendships with other Nepali-parents-to-be (seriously!)

3.) All this opportunity to learn to practice patience...yay!

2.) Extra time to pay off credit cards!

1.) SLEEPING UNTIL 10 ON WEEKENDS!!!

Who IS this person?

I have really got to get more creative about how I update when there's nothing to update on!

Those of you who know me, know that I am not the most patient person in the world. OK, probably not even in the top 10... (After all, on FaceBook I am an early member of the group:"I Secretly Want to Punch Slow Walking People in the Head".) I'm also a fairly accomplished control freak. Admittedly, these may not be two of my more admirable qualities. (Although, hey, "I yam who I yam" as both Pop and Popeye would say...)

However, somewhere in me I am finding a woman who is steadfast, resolute, calm and hopeful in this process. No, it is not happening as quickly as I want it to. But there's a tiny part of me who is (for now, anyway) at peace with it. Would I like to be buying baby things, assembling a crib or booking a trip to Nepal right now? Hell yes! But here I am, here we are, in total unknowing and completely at the mercy of things which are completely out of our control. And feeling quite a bit of respect for this country which operates in an entirely different manner, and with different timing than that to which I am accustomed. And I'm OK. Maybe the Pebble is teaching me a thing or two about patience before he/she physically joins us. Maybe it's unfolding exactly as it should. Here's to learning.

Namaste.

Quiet.

There's nothing new to report with the adoption process. Nepal is in the midst of changes in their government, and we're hearing that is slowing/stopping the process of matching families with orphans temporarily. Apparently they're in the process of appointing a new Minster of Women & Children - which is the agency that handles adoptions. Much change.

It's really amazing - in this world of instant news, constant updates, Twitter, FaceBook, etc - that we really have no idea what's happening with the adoption process, where we stand, or how long it might be until we hear news about our child. What we get is bits and pieces of information - and nothing really concrete or absolute. When we hear things, we're not sure what to believe. Mostly, we don't hear things. It makes me realize how very different day to day life is in Nepal. And it also brings a whole new meaning to "I have no control over this situation".

So, it is what it is. I'd have been shocked if this happened in the timeframe I preferred, which was yesterday.

Namaste.

Photos

A few photos from Nepal while we wait...

Namaste.

Something outta nothing...

Not much news.

I'm going to have to get much better at blogging when there are no obvious or interesting updates on the adoption front. Referrals (matches) are still moving very slowly, or not at all, due to changes in the government in Nepal. It'll come around, we just don't know when. So, I'm using it as a opportunity to practice letting go, and to do some volunteer work for an organization that builds schools in remote areas of Nepal. (More about that, soon...I promise, it's good stuff!)

In the meantime I'm thankful for the great community we have - family, friends and all of the new friends we're making through the adoption process. The support we've gotten from all over the place since day one has really been amazing. On a business trip to Miami last week, I learned that a acquaintance in my industry and his wife adopted a child from Guatemala a few years ago. We talked about their process, and about ours, and he offered to help us in any way he could with our adoption. (This is a guy I've maybe talked to for maybe 30 minutes in my entire life - and I truly believe he would help us in any way he could.) This is the same thing that has happened countless times through the process... someone has adopted (or knows someone who has adopted) and will do absolutely anything they can to help the next in line. I just love that. We'll do the same.

Namaste.

Om Mani Padme Hum

Om Mani Padme Hum (Sanskrit) or Om Mani Peme Hung (Tibetan) is the oldest and most well known mantra of Tibetan Buddhism.

"The mantra Om Mani Päme Hum is easy to say yet quite powerful, because it contains the essence of the entire teaching. When you say the first syllable Om it is blessed to help you achieve perfection in the practice of generosity, Ma helps perfect the practice of pure ethics, and Ni helps achieve perfection in the practice of tolerance and patience. Pä, the fourth syllable, helps to achieve perfection of perseverance, Me helps achieve perfection in the practice of concentration, and the final sixth syllable Hum helps achieve perfection in the practice of wisdom.
— Gen Rinpoche, Heart Treasure of the Enlightened Ones

Beautiful Babies.

Have a look at some gorgeous children in Nepal.

I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so excited. I am so ready.

Namaste.

Ministry Movement & Matching!

Good news! It sounds like another round of dossiers (125) have gone to the matching committee in Nepal. This means that 125 families will hopefully recieve a referral (match) for an orphan sometime soon. It will be very interesting to see how this plays out: how long it will take for this round to be matched, how long it will be until the families travel to meet their children, and when the next group will be matched. Remember, this is a new program as of January, and to our knowledge only a small handful of families have been matched so far. So this is all new territory. There is so much we don't know - and so much we will learn over the next few months from those ahead of us in the process. (Thanks in advance, you guys!)

In terms of our process, we won't be in this round of matches, but, it's possible we could be in the next. Of course that could be in a month - or in a year - no one knows. Some friends of ours are likely in this current group of 125 and could hear news any day...we're very excited for them!

Namaste for now.

Patience. It doesn't come naturally to me.

Nepal's new Prime Minister has been sworn into office. We don't know how this will affect the adoption process. We expect slowdowns, but things have been moving pretty slowly (at least it seems from a half a world away) anyway.

Since Nepal re-opened for adoptions in January of this year, it's our understanding that 3 children have been matched with families, although no one has actually traveled to Nepal. (Selfishly, and for the sake of the babies, children and other families we hope the momentum picks up soon!) We have to remember that not everyone moves at our "American" pace. (Hmmm...that "patience" thing seems to be a recurring theme in my life.)

So, we're (still) in a holding pattern. We're hesitant to set up the baby's room, talk about names or get too exited since things are so uncertain. Although I'd be lying if I said our hearts weren't already involved.

Namaste.

No New News

Nothing new to report as far as the adoption is concerned.

I'm traveling in Europe for work. It occurs to me that after the baby comes these trips will be different. It'll be harder to go overseas, I think.

So, we wait. The waiting now is much different than it was when we had work to do on the dossier. It's somehow heavier and bigger. I'm funneling my energies into some volunteer work for an organization that builds schools in remote areas of Nepal. (Stay tuned for more on that.)

Namaste for now.

Making an ass out of u and me

When we tell people we're adopting, 95% of the time we are met with genuine excitement. But there are other reactions, as well. So, to clear things up for the record:

1.) I'm/we're not infertile.
Most of the time, people automatically assume I'm infertile. There's a "you poor thing" look in their eyes for a fraction of a second. (They recover quickly, but I always catch it.) We're not adopting because either of us has any fertility challenges. Adoption is our choice. This is how Terry and I have chosen to start our family.

2.) We're the lucky ones.
People often say: "that is a lucky child". And early on, I probably agreed with that. In actuality though, it is Terry and me who are "lucky". To adopt a child from a different culture half-way around the world is an absolute privilege. And that's not lip service. We just hope we're worthy.

3.) International Adoption was not a runner-up.
We wanted to adopt internationally, it's not a second choice. Our reasons for adopting child who will be a different color, from a different culture, and with a different religious background are very personal, but I can say with absolute conviction, this is our path.

Namaste.

Referrals have begun!

Wonderful news! We have heard from a few people who have received referrals for their children from Nepal! Soon, we'll learn much more: how long it might be until our referral comes, best case? How long after referral until we can we travel? What will happen during the stay in Kathmandu? And on and on...

I can't even imagine the day when we go the the mailbox and there's a letter postmarked from Nepal! How will this unfold? So exciting!!

Namaste! And thank you, Ganesha!

Political goings-on half a world away.

It sounds like, that as of now, the matching process is continuing. This means that orphans are being matched with families despite the political upheaval in Nepal. We have yet to hear of any actual referrals - which is the notification the family receives with information about their child. And finally, we are hearing that when a new government is in place, the process could be interrupted and slowed down. All in all, many rumors, much speculation...I pass on only what I hear from our attorney in Nepal or directly from the Nepali press (below).

Nepalnews.com is reporting that an understanding has already been reached among parties to form a unity government under the leadership of CPN (UML) (Communist Party Nepal / Unified Marxist Leninist).

Stay tuned. Namaste.

Staying positive

Trying to stay positive here amidst unknown governmental changes in Nepal and their various ramifications. We learned today though that the ministry (of women and children) is still accepting new dossiers as usual, so political changes are not affecting that. I think that is a good sign. We'd like to think that the ministry would not be affected by such governmental shifts, but who knows. We expect some delays in the referral process at this point, but are hopeful these will be minimal. For the sake of the orphaned children, peace and stability in Nepal, and our own quest and the quests of our many friends in the same boat, we wish and pray for the best.

Namaste.

Nepali Prime Minister Resigns

Click here for the news from Nepal.

The Prime Minister of Nepal has resigned. We have no idea how / if this will affect the adoption process, the families, or most importantly - the children. At this point our agency is warning of a delay - but we don't know how long or short.

While I want to feel sad for us about the (potentially) longer wait for our child, I have decided to instead send my prayers and compassion to the orphans in Nepal who may now have to wait longer for a home, family, food and shelter. And - who knows - maybe somehow things will be better in the long-term due to changes that are happening now? We just don't know what we don't know.

"If we think of ourselves as very precious and absolute, our whole mental focus becomes very narrow and limited and even minor problems can seem unbearable... If we switch our mental attitude from concern for our own welfare to that of others, our mind automatically widens and our own problems appear much less important and easier to face." ~the Dalai Lama

Namaste.

Yak Stew in Golden!

Terry and I made a new discovery tonight! We went to eat dinner at a new restaurant here in Golden - the Sherpa House Restaurant and Cultural Center. A neighbor had mentioned the Sherpa House earlier in the day, and we're big fans of Indian/Nepalese food, so we headed over.

Well, it could not have been more delightful! Lhakpa Sherpa and his family opened the restaurant (Himalayan cuisine) about a month ago. They've decorated the place with artifacts and pictures from Nepal, and have even outfitted the front room to look like a typical Himalayan house. There's a Buddhist shrine room and a nice patio, as well.

Lhakpa and the others (all of whom were from Nepal, as well) were very friendly and our food was great. (I had Chicken Tikka Masala and Terry ordered the Yak stew...a little chewy but good.) We chatted a bit about the Nepalese community here in Golden, and even found a few people that we know in common! Lhakpa kindly offered to help however he could when we go to Nepal. We will frequent the Sherpa House, for sure.

Our circle expands and our community continues to grow. For that I am humbled and thankful. And I can't finish this post without mentioning that the first ten minutes we sat in the place I had tears streaming down my face. I can't explain why, but I know there are some of you who understand. Namaste.

# # #

We got our file number from the Ministry of Women & Children in Nepal, and it's # # #!

So, what does that mean? Well, it means we got our file number, and it means it's "official" that we're in the queue. Besides that, we're not really sure. While matching has started, they're matching older children first, so we won't necessarily be matched with orphan ###. But it gives us a relative timeframe for when we'll be matched. And we'll know much more in the next few months, for sure.

We're grateful and excited. Namaste for now.

It’s official, almost…

On Thursday our agency’s coordinator/attorney in Nepal successfully picked up our guarantee letter from the US embassy. This means the immigration component is all approved! He also submitted our dossier to the Ministry of Women & Children, the agency who handles the child placement in Nepal. We are still waiting on our registration number, which will be our official queue number in the system. Getting this supposedly can take up to a week – so any day now. Once we get that number, we’re official.

Still no word on timeline, but we have also recently heard that the first 3 matches have just occurred in Nepal! This news comes from the same coordinator, so sounds like a solid source. Also 180-200 children, mostly 18 months and older, are officially registered for adoption there. So it sounds like these children have been in orphanages for a while and waiting for the system to open up – so that is great news for them and their new families-to-be. And a good sign for us too.
Namaste.

Wrong.

Well, I was wrong. The letter I mentioned beIow is not our guarantee letter. We don't have that yet. Either way - we wait! Stay tuned. Namaste for now.

Dossier is in Kathmandu! It's clear as mud.

We also got notification from the state department that our 171h has been forwarded to the US Embassy in Kathmandu. (We think this basically means that our "approval to adopt an orphan" has been sent to Kathmandu, so that now a visa can be issued for the child when we recieve a referral. Perhaps this is the "guarantee letter" we keep hearing about. We'll ask the agency when we talk to them this week. For us first-timers, it's all a bit confusing.)

So now we wait. Or - continue to wait. But with everything on our end completed - it's an entirely different kind of waiting. Namaste for now.

Denver - Indianapolis - Paris...

...and departed Paris for whatever destination is next just a few moments ago. How fun is it to be able to track the dossier via Fed-Ex online??

105 days later...

Our dossier is leaving for Nepal via Fed-ex today, 105 days after we started the process. Now, we wait for the guarantee letter (visa) to arrive in Nepal and our dossier will be complete. Once it's reviewed by the Nepalese lawyer, it'll go to the Ministry of Women and Children for matching. (No, we have absolutely no idea how long it will take. )Stay tuned! Namaste for now.

The Dossier is leaving the building...

We're back from our 5-day road trip through Utah & Arizona. We had an awesome time and I very much enjoyed being "unplugged". (It's only once every few years I'm without my blackerry for more than 8 hours - I think I'm a convert.) 

We came back to two bits of VERY good news! We got a lower rate than expected to refinance our house. And even better, we have the final piece of paperwork we needed for our dossier. Terry hand-delivered it to the agency today, and we're expecting that our dossier will be sent to Nepal TOMORROW! What a wonderful birthday gift! Namaste for now.

Breakdown. Just a small one.

We went to the adoption agency today. We thought we were going to finalize our dossier for sending to Nepal immediately. In the 22nd hour we learned that we need an additional letter from one of our banks that's going to take 7-10 days to get. And we can't send the dossier to Nepal until we get it.

It's my 4oth birthday on Saturday and we're leaving for a camping trip to Bryce Canyon Thursday. I had it in my head that our dossier would be happily on its way to Nepal as we drove across Colorado for a long weekend in Utah. Nope. No siree. Nada.

So I cried a bit. I guess I had a minor breakdown in general. I figure that's not too bad, seeing as how I've only had about three breakdowns, total, in this process - each of which has lasted less than 5 minutes, max (I recover quickly). But then again it's not over yet, not by a long shot. Must give more offerings to Ganesha! Namaste for now.

Tummy Rub

I have a few girlfriends and co-workers who are in various stages of pregnancy. When I'm with them, I notice that often they reach down and touch or rub their tummies. I'm sure sometimes it's due to a physical sensation. But I also think sometimes it's to connect with their baby - to reassure the baby, or even themselves, that's all is OK. I suspect most of the time they're doing this tummy rub they don't even realize it. Sometimes when I see this mini ritual of connecting, it's so maternal and beautiful that I have to turn away.

It is leaving me wondering how I can reassure my baby who's not in my tummy - and myself, that everything's OK? What connecting can I be practicing long-distance? I don't know. Namaste for now.

Notsofast!

Well, I thought we were finished with our dossier - but not so fast! We still have a few misc forms to pull together. We're also waiting on our guarantee letter. Our goal is to have everything (that we're in control of) to the agency when we meet with them on Tuesday, so we can drop that sucker in the mail before we leave on Thursday for my 40th birthday road trip. Thank God for Terry who jumps in and saves the day when I start to peter out on the details. I'm good at starting/initiating, he's good at finishing. We're a good team.

There's no word yet on whether any matching has happened yet in Nepal - that is matching up dossiers (prospective parents) with orphans (their children). The adoption community is expecting news of the first matches any day now.

Namaste for now.

It's here!

18 days after filing our I-600a, we have recieved our I-171h: "Notice of favorable determination concerning application for advance processing of orphan petition". Yes, I am a little teary.

We're Psyched!

Today we met with a psychologist to get our "psychological assessment" - one of the final remaining documents required for our dossier. (The woman we met with was really great... if you're looking for someone for your assessment - we'd highly recommend her!) We then got our passport photos. It's good to check these things off, having not been super productive on the adoption front in the past few days.

This past weekend we had dinner with our new Nepal-adopting friends Kevin and Jenny, and saw photos and heard stories from when they lived in Nepal. We're more excited than ever to visit this amazing country for the first of what will hopefully be many incredible trips! We also heard today that Ann and Kevin - who we we met at the adoption training a few weeks ago - have officially decided to adopt from Nepal, so happy congratulations to them!

Still no I-171H. Day 13. Namaste for now.

Lots happening - both here and in Nepal

On Sunday we had a potluck for the families locally who are adopting from Nepal. There were nine families - it was a great group of people! There was lots of good conversation and sharing of questions & details! I'm sure we will very much be able to help each other along the way. There are a few families who already have their dossiers in Nepal, and some who are just considering the country - and all of us in between.

We contine to make slow, steady progress. We have an appointment for our psych. eval on Monday. We'll get our passport pictures taken this weekend, and print pictures of the house & yard. Our dossier is getting there! Come on, I-171H!!

In the meantime, Nepal is preparing for the process, which is new to them, as well.

Namaste for now.

More on yesterday...

Part 1:
Anne, as usual, wrote an eloquent and inspiring update last night (see below). Yesterday was powerful for both of us, and I feel the need to add a bit more.

The ‘Core 1’ class was both really interesting and seriously eye-opening. Lots of honest and sincere talk about life after an adopted child joins your life and family. Some of the honesty was honestly hard to hear – the trauma talk (loss, attachment disorder, PTSD) as well as parental wondering if you did the right thing. This was unexpected and a little emotional at times I think for many of us. We all wonder. We all have capacities beyond what we know. We later got into scenarios of how to deal with difficult, surprising situations with kids of various ages, but also the potent value of commitment throughout this lifelong journey.

At the end of the day it was truly all good. Not just eye-opening but really mind-opening good. One of the best parts was meeting and sharing with these remarkable people also adopting… domestic and foster care and international, some searching for older and special needs kids. It is comforting to know there are beautiful and courageous people in this world who care a hell of a lot – both experts and novices. Hopefully we never cease to learn from them.

Part 2:
I want to thank Anne, my amazing wife, for all her efforts on our adoption process. She has worked tirelessly on organizing and pulling together the bulk of our paperwork and coordination and necessities for this adoption – including regular updates on this blog. I help here and there when I can, but her care and devotion have really kept the momentum going for us and are getting us there that much sooner.

As always, I am impressed. I am inspired. I am thrilled. I am grateful.

Maile timilai maayaa gardachu.

Goodness.

Two months ago today I wrote my first blog post. And two months ago today I was reflecting on the same thing I'm reflecting on right now - the goodness of people.

We went to our first parenting/education class today. It was a long 7 hours, the room was warm and stuffy, and the chairs weren't super comfortable. We learned about trauma, about some of the challenges of adopting, a bit about attachment disorder and we heard from two adults who were adopted when they were babies. Lots of stuff that was, quite frankly, hard to hear. And harder to grasp.

But talk about some poignant moments...one couple in the class already has their "referral" and they have traveled to Haiti twice to see their babies (yes, twins!), but have not been able to get them home yet. I watched them, across the room from each other, each tear up as a woman in a video described seeing her child for the first time and "recognizing her child". A few of the couples in the room are adopting older children with special needs from foster care; what a courageous and loving thing to do. I watched two women sit with tears streaming down their cheeks as we discussed what some of these children have lived through...and what it will take to raise them. I thought there was so much beauty in this group of people, eager to be joined with a child who needs them, eager to do their absolute best by those children, eager to share their love. And all the while aware that it'll be messy, hard and far from perfect... yet they're unwavering in their commitment.

So, yeah, people do terrible things. People abandon babies, people hurt other people and animals, people start wars. But to glimpse the love that we're capable of...just makes me believe a bit more that the world's better than we know. We're just not always good at seeing it. Namaste for now.

"They don't teach this stuff in school..."

But they do teach it when you're adopting! We have our first parenting course tomorrow (all day Saturday). It's part of 24 hours of education we have to complete. I'm sure glad it starts at 9am instead of 8am. Although 11am would be even better.

The fun part about the I-600A...

Today we filed our I-600A, which means we "applied for advanced processing of an orphan" through US Immigration. How exciting, huh?! Now, we wait for our I-171H, which we will receive via mail from the INS in a month or so. The I-171H is the notice that the I-600 application has been approved and forwarded. I'm pretty much at the mercy of our adoption agency and community at this point, because what happens from here on out has me a bit confused. The good news is that we've made great progress, fairly quickly, I think. So I'll just keep checking things off the list. (I know - hard to believe there's still a "list" after 2.5 months of working on this nearly every day - but there is!)

The fun part about the I-600 is that the people in line to get their fingerprints right behind us had an envelope that looked suspiciously similar to ours. So, never the shy one, I asked if they were adopting. Turns out that they are - and they're adopting from Nepal - to boot! They are really great - Jenny & Kevin from Boulder. We're hoping they can join us on Sunday at our Colorado/Nepal Adoption Pot Luck. Who knows, maybe we'll travel to Nepal at the same time!

No stretch marks here.

There are some times when I'm bummed about not experiencing a physical pregnancy. No baby growing in my tummy. No cute maternity clothes. No tiny first kick. No baby shower...and no husband looking at me with wonder and awe, as I imagine most fathers-to-be do.

So I'll just think of the process as the pregnancy, the trips to the agency as the sonograms, the trip to Nepal as the labor... and wait anxiously for the day our baby is handed to us for the first time; just as it is so extraordinarily and undeniably meant to be. Because for absolute sure, while our pebble isn't growing in my tummy, our baby is growing in my heart. Namaste for now.

They like us...they really like us!

We got an email with our *draft* homestudy from the agency today. Tonight we'll review it, will likely suggest some tweaks, and then will send it back for finalization. We didn't know what to expect - but from an initial glance - it seems pretty good/positive...
Meanwhile, still trying to kick this darn flu. Namaste for now.

Progress!

This round of required paperwork is in, and our home study is being written! We hope to see a copy sometime next week. We will have the chance to check it for any factual errors - and once it's signed off, we'll move to the next steps in the dossier process. There is absolutely always something to be working on!

In the meantime, while I recover from the flu, I'm spending in more $$ for various fees, sending thank-yous to those who have helped us along the way, starting the next round of paperwork and brainstorming on ideas to benefit the children and orphanages in Nepal.

Namaste for now.

Maybe about to potentially almost reach a milestone!

On Monday, we'll Fed-Ex a package to our agency with everying needed (I hope) to officially finish our home study. With these documents, our social worker will be able to write the actual study. We've already had all 3 required meetings, and now have to attend our training/classes. (The only piece to this that is out of our control is whether or not the people we asked to be references have sent in their forms - but I'm pretty sure they have!)

So now we wait to see what the social worker's assessment of us as potential parents is. (I won't go into the whole "how I hate being judged" thing here...) Next is the Dossier. It's coming along - I'm getting at least one thing accomplished every day, even if it's minor. It's really unbelieveable how much work this process is! Namaste for now.

Minor blip, all things considered...

Our marriage license copies arrived today - certified, but not in color! Oh well - all things considered this is a pretty easy correction. I'll just send for them again and be more explicit in my explicitness. And write another check.

But we're making good progress! Last night we completed the final home-study session. Our social worker was great and put us at ease. We both have official (color) copies of our birth certificates. We've both had our doc's appointments... I am having my blood work done tomorrow. We've signed up for training in March and April. (Our second session will be on my 40th birthday, so my 40th b'day trip to Bryce Canyon and the San Rafael Swell for slot canyoneering has been bumped a bit. Bummer, but anything for Pebble!)

We're now starting on the long list of dossier requirements. The goal is to accomplish one thing every day. (My accomplishment for today was an email to my contact at Adoption Alliance with a long list of questions!) Which reminds me: thank you to my amazing hubby who is catching my oversights! I'm not a details person, so this process would be nearly impossible - or at least twice as long - without his keen eye! Also - thanks to Laura for her continued support and learnings. By the way - her dossier is delivered in Nepal - we're so excited for you - congratulations, Laura! Namaste for now.

Denver & Nepal Get Together

I had lunch with Laura today (http://www.nepaladoptionblog.com/). She's much futher along in the process than we are, and has been a great support to us already with tips and information. We started talking about community, and we decided it'd be fun to do a potluck with those of us locally who are either in the process of adopting from Nepal, or have recently adopted from Nepal.

So if you're in the process - and in (or close to) Denver - add a comment to this post with your email address and I'll get you the details! In the meantime plan on Sunday, March 15th at 5pm. Namaste!

Check, check, check...

We've just scheduled our first visit for our home study. We meet with the social worker at our home on Monday evening! We've also scheduled our parenting classes. Terry had his physical, mine's next week. I sent away for "original copies" of our marriage license (I still think that's an oxymoron...) I also just sent for "original copies" of my birth certificate, and Terry will get his soon, too. (They still had me listed as my maiden name, so hopefully that's not a kink in the plan.) Meanwhile, we wait for background and child abuse clearances and hope that Jackson Golden behaves himself Monday evening. Oh, and we'll need to clean the house. Namaste for now.

Namasté नमस्ते

I bought a Nepali phrase book last week, interested in the culture, words, pronunciations. The very first word listed is “namasté”, which is commonly used in saying both “hello” and “goodbye”. In Nepal (and India and elsewhere in South Asia too) this expression can be used any time of the day and, though slightly informal, is considered appropriate between all people. When used, it should be accompanied by holding your palms together in front of your face or chest, as if in prayer. I am immediately fascinated.

Having tried a stint with yoga a few years ago, “namasté” was used between the instructor and class as the session began and ended. There I learned it had a deeper, spiritual meaning, so it never occurred to me that it could also be a simple greeting. The Wikipedia definition (which must be true) reminded me that what I learned conveyed deep respect: “The light in me honors the light in you” and also “ I bow to that (divinity) inherent in you.” Wow. That’s a little different than “hello” or “hey, how’s it goin’?”

It seems to me that is incredibly powerful. So whenever you greet a person in Nepal – even a stranger on the street – you’re not just saying “hi” but “I respect the Divine within you.” When was the last time you greeted somebody with such profound reverence? I know I haven’t, even to those I love dearly. It makes me think though that the Nepalese are a beautiful and wise people... that deep respect and acceptance, no matter what religion or beliefs, help bind their people together.

So I’m thankful I’ve already learned something from our unknown child. I look forward to the day when we first meet…

Namasté.

Making Progress!

On Monday I drove to the adoption agency with the contents of our formal application. Since it was a chilly 14 degrees outside with almost 6 inches of fresh snow, Terry suggested I Fed-Ex it. Not a chance! I wanted to place it in our coordinator's hands myself, and I did. I also wrote a big, fat check as our first payment. (I know this sounds terrible, but I was really hoping I could use a credit card and get the miles, but no go, and I thought it best not to belabour the point.)

We have a few more documents to get to the agency, then we'll begin the home study process, which will take 3-6 months. (I'm shooting for 3.) At the same time we'll be taking required classes and working on our Dossier for Nepal. I'm now signing off to go figure out how to get a original copy of my birth certificate. Which is ridiculous, because "original copy" is a total oxymoron.
One. Step. At. A. Time.
~Namaste for now.

A bit about Nepal

Nepal (Nepali: नेपाल ) is bordered by China (Tibet) to the north and by India to the south, east and west. The Himalaya mountain range runs across Nepal to the north and west, and eight of the world's ten highest mountains, including the highest, Mount Everest, lie within its borders. The capital, Kathmandhu, is the largest city in the country. The official language is Nepali and the state currency is the Nepalese Rupee (NPR). Hinduism is practiced by a majority of the people, but the country also has a strong Buddhist tradition; the birthplace of Buddha Siddhartha Gautama is in Nepal. (More on the differences/similarities between Hinduism and Buddhism soon.) Nepal's flag is the only national flag in the world that is non-quadrilateral in shape. The red in the flag is the color of the rhododendron, the national flower of Nepal. Red suggests aggression while the blue border signifies peace. The curved moon on the flag is a symbol of the peaceful and calm nature of Nepalese, and the sun represents the aggressiveness of Nepalese warriors. It also indicates that as long as there is sun and moon in the sky, Nepal will exist.

Namaste for now.

Dactyloscopy

Short for fingerprint identification, of course.

We had our fingerprints done today. These tiny portraits of our digits will be sent to the FBI to make sure we're baby-worthy. And it's another check in the long list of paperwork we're going to have complete by Monday morning! (Right honey?) ABC Fingerprinting (303-480-3581) came right to our house with only about an hour's notice. Virginia was awesome. (And very informative. I am confident she has all X-files episodes on DVD or maybe VCR tape). I'm sure we avoided a lot of crap by not going to the Sheriff's office to get them done, and it cost us not a penny more! A small victory.

There are 3 types of prints, all pretty self-explanatory:
1.) Whorl
2.) Arch
3.) Loop
I was all loops. Terry has one whorl and the rest loops. Neither of us is very rare or fascinating, apparently. (And I admit that I was disappointed, I'd hoped for something really rare, like a tented arch or no finger prints at all). According to a well-known hand reader, since I have all loops here ares some words to describe me: flexible, adaptable, easy going. Ummmm...NOTSOMUCH.

OK - on to the autobiography, family tree, financial overview, etc...namaste for now.

What to Expect While We're Expecting...

As we've told people about our plans to adopt, we've gotten some great, heartfelt responses. Here's one of my favorites from a friend who has an adopted daughter and a biological daughter. I think it's really cool - and proving to be true, already:

I am thrilled for you, and can't tell you how excited I am for you as you take the first steps on this journey to your child. In my experience, our "paper pregnancy" was remarkably similar to our biological pregnancy (albeit with a longer gestational period :). Both are filled with excitement, joy, uncertainty, ups, downs, sleepless nights, wonderment, and ultimately a moment when someone places that little being in your hands and the long road to get there is all forgotten in an instant. I wish you all the best of luck for a smooth and speedy process...

I think I am going to suggest to Terry that he be prepared to go out at any hour of the night to get me the strange combinations of food I'm craving during my paper pregnancy. I will likely need some new pregnancy clothes at some point soon. And I've heard that feet grow during pregnancy - so new shoes are a likelihood, as well. Namaste for now!

You come, too.

Here's a poem my dad posted the day we told he and my mom about the adoption, and invited them to join us on the trip to Nepal:
"I'm going out to fetch the little calf
That's standing by the mother. It's so young,
It totters when she licks it with her tongue.
I sha'n't be gone long. --You come too."
~Robert Frost